Badgers vote to cull MPs
Badger government ministers are expected to confirm a decision to allow two pilot MP culls to take place next year in England, writes Hard Jackson. Pest control Badger Minister Arnold Snuffleworm says the…
Local man working from coffee shop, hating every second of it
Local man Greg MacDonald described his experience of working from local coffee shop Hoopla! today as ‘utterly miserable’, writes Hard Jackson. Quantity surveyor MacDonald frequently works in a small spare bedroom at home,…
Jeremy Clarkson crushed to death by massive gilt-edged pension
Jeremy Clarkson has been crushed to death by a falling pension, just hours after his controversial BBC One Show appearance, writes Hard Jackson. The car-driving autocue-reader was leaving BBC Television Centre when an…
Tulisa questions song choice of Little Mix
X Factor judge Tulisa is reportedly at loggerheads with the competition’s only remaining group after doubting the appeal of Little Mix’s chosen song for this week’s competition, writes Hard Jackson. Tulisa criticised the…
Silent Hill gamer wanders around same room pressing X button for seven years
Prolific gamer Adam Kelly has spent most nights in the last seven years attempting to locate a clue, hidden item or concealed door in an installment of the Silent Hill video game franchise,…
Facebook buys aircraft carrier as Cold War with Google escalates
In a move that has alarmed sovereign Western states, Facebook is understood to have purchased an aircraft carrier from Russia, writes Hard Jackson. The Admiral Kuznetsov class multirole aircraft carrier Zaroff has been…
David Cameron and family living on bread and water
David Cameron and his young family are living on bread and water inside Downing Street as the Prime Minister makes good on promise to share the pain of austerity cuts throughout the UK,…
