Neil Warnock pips Darth Vader to Leeds United job
Leeds United have made a crucial step towards regaining their status as England’s most hated football club with the appointment of Neil Warnock. The Yorkshiremen rejected a string of candidates – including hotly…
Liverpool issues long overdue apology for everything to do with Liverpool
The city of Liverpool has followed the example set by Kenny Dalglish and Luis Suarez to finally apologise for a string of Merseyside-related abhorrences including Joey Barton, Derek Acorah and TV sitcom Bread….
Fabio Capello quits England to try his hand at football management
England manager Fabio Capello has quit as boss of the England football team to pursue his dream of managing footballers on a professional basis. Capello resigned after a meeting with FA chairman David…
Harry Redknapp disappointed to miss adult learning classes in prison
Harry Redknapp’s relief at being cleared of tax evasion charges has been tempered by the disappointment that he will miss out on basic reading and writing classes in prison. The Tottenham Hotspur manager confessed he can’t spell and…
Angry Blackburn Rovers fans demand defeat
Blackburn Rovers fans calling for the head of manager Steve Kean have pleaded with the club to work harder in stringing together a series of damaging defeats. “All we want is a bit…
Manchester United fans axe Wesley Sneijder lookalike convention
The annual Wesley Sneijder lookalike convention has been put back to the summer after complaints from irate Manchester United fans. The national event sees hundreds of Sneijder lookalikes descend on Manchester to celebrate…
Banned Suarez to enjoy traditional Uruguayan New Year abusing family and friends
Liverpool striker Luis Suarez is to take his break from Premier League controversy and enjoy a traditional festive gathering in Uruguay happily abusing his neighbours. After receiving a one-match ban and £20,000 fine…
Terry thought ‘black c*nt’ meant ‘great friend’
Chelsea and England captain John Terry says a racial epithet allegedly spoken by him is a great term on endearment in his home land of Barking. “What Anton Ferdinand doesn’t realise is that…
Alan Hansen not sure what he’s apologising about, but does it anyway
Match of the Day pundit Alan Hansen has issued an apology for something he said on the show, despite being unsure of which word caused offence, he revealed today. The former Liverpool defender…
Manchester United’s Darren Fletcher takes extended break from football, signs for Stoke City
Manchester United midfielder Darren Fletcher is to take a break from football by playing in Stoke City’s midfield. United boss Alex Ferguson agreed to a loan move to the Potters to “give the…
