Cheryl Cole tattoo artist suffered dislocated penis

THE artist who worked 11 straight hours on Cheryl Cole’s arse tattoo suffered a ruptured manhood during the procedure, it was revealed today.

“It was the most excruciating 11 hours of my life,” Justin Teale told reporters from his hospital bed last night.

“Being hunched over the pert bottom of Cheryl Cole for hours on end is not all its cracked up to be,” the 22-year-old artist said. “Especially in a pair of tight jeans.”

What should have been a routine procedure turned into a nightmare for the Essex tattooist, with things going wrong from the off.

“As she pulled her pants down and lay over the tattoo bench, I tried to settle the nerves by letting her know that it was a relatively painless procedure,” a candid Justin said. “’You will only feel a small prick,’ I told her.

“’I'd rather be feeling a big one!’ she responded. And that was it. All hell was let loose in the trouser department, or kept restricted as it turned out.”

A sudden and unexpected flow of blood to the groin area caused a massive involuntary erection within the restricted confines of Justin’s underpants.

“For the next 11 hours I had to work on the smooth, lightly scented bottom of Cheryl Cole while trying desperately to keep that erection at bay,” he said. “It was hell.”

Justin attempted to quell his erection by desperately trying to recall the names of all post-war British prime ministers, the counties of the UK and British number one singles of 1998.

“With every push of the needle into Cheryl’s glistening derriere she would let out a low moan, breaking my concentration and precipitating another surge of blood to my engorged member,” an ashen-faced Justin recalled.

“Eleven straight hours with your face poised six inches from Cheryl Cole’s bottom is more than any man can take.”

Justin was rushed to hospital immediately after the tattoo was finished where surgeons spent two and half hours trying to deflate the horribly misshaped penis. The member is now in a splint and was last night described as being in a serious but stable condition.

The intricate butterfly design, which X Factor star Cheryl has described as signifying a “fresh start” in her life, is believed to have cost £900.

“Despite the pain,” Justin told reporters from his hospital bed today, “I’d happily pay it again. It was worth every penny.”