Photo by sheksays Some Rights Reserved
Much-loved health writer and agony aunt Claire Rayner is set to to haunt CAMERON DIAZ in a bizarre afterlife mix-up, writes Hard Jackson.
Rayner had vowed to haunt David Cameron, should he wreck the former TV agony aunt’s beloved National Health Service, but crossed wires at the pearly gates mean Claire will now spook Hollywood film star Cameron Diaz instead.
Once spirits are bound to a living human they must remain with them until their chosen one dies, though it is believed that Rayner will be a benign spirit to Diaz, rather than malevolent.
“This might actually work out OK,” said an afterlife orderly when asked to comment on the bizarre mix-up.
“Claire could help Cameron with checking her breasts and ensuring she has a regular smear test.
“And any advice on sexual health and liberation, well, Claire will be perfect, obviously.”
In Rayner’s place, Solomon Burke has been assigned to haunt Prime Minister David Cameron, having originally been slated to be Diaz’s afterlife companion.
However, the spectral civil servant warned of a clash of personalities between former gospel preacher Burke and austerity-loving Cameron.
“It’s a mismatch of almost sitcom proportions,” confided TNG’s afterlife contact.
“Can you imagine Solomon’s ghostly singing ringing around Downing Street?”
A Downing Street corespondent confirmed that Mr Burke had been confirmed as the new Number Ten ghost, adding that the Prime Minister was looking forward to the hauntings.
> Photo by sheksays Some Rights Reserved
