A short back and meerkat please
Wayne Rooney has had a dead meerkat glued onto the top of his head as part of a new multi-million pound sponsorship deal, writes Crispin Fisher.
The Manchester United ace, ditched by Coca-Cola after four-letter outburst on TV earlier this year, will wear the dead mammal after signing a three-year £4.5million deal with internet firm Comparethemarket.com.
“It’s great news for Wayne,” said his agent Carl Preston today. “He has secured a high-profile deal to replace his Coca-Cola contract … as well as finding the answer to his baldness issues.”
England star Rooney decided to take the drastic action after being ribbed by team-mates about having the face of a 12-year-old but the hair of a pensioner.
Alan Sharp a close friend of Rooney said: “Wayne was a bit apprehensive about the procedure at the first but now he’s seen the results he’s over the moon.
“When the Compare the Market advert comes on the telly Kai jumps up and down shouting daddy’s head, much to the amusement of Coleen. Previously he used to shout it when passing the eggs aisle in Waitrose.”
Sir Alex Ferguson has backed Rooney’s decision to cover up his bald patch believing his star striker could become even more prolific in front of goal if feeling confident about his appearance. Fergie, however, has warned him that if the goals start to dry up the meerkat won’t be spared the hairdryer treatment.
The meerkat comb-over operation lasted several hours because doctors want to ensure it would be able to withstand all the wear and tear of a full season of Premiership football.
Rooney had considered having a traditional hair transplant but when celebrity pal Gordon Ramsey told him how painful the process was he opted for the new meerkat syrup instead.
Dr Charles Greystone, who carried out the lengthy procedure at a private Harley Street clinic, denied the operation was as complicated as the traditionally complex hair replacement treatments. “It’s not complicated,” he told reporters. “It’s simples.”
