Photo by Jake Ji, some rights reserved
Local woman Kacey MacIntyre has revealed her plans to spend Bonfire Night at home with her new boyfriend Kevin, writes Hard Jackson.
The news will come as little surprise to Facebook and Twitter friends, who have been party to a number of updates involving MacIntyre and her new partner, Kevin Royston.
The pair have been dating for six weeks, in which time MacIntyre has written 233 updates involving Royston. Ninety-four per cent of friends and followers polled by The News Grind have not met, nor had any contact, with Royston since the pair started dating and are widely believed to be disinterested in the couple’s activities.
Fewer still declared they had any appetite for further updates that invoked the pair’s social plans, which long-time friend Derek Hurrell described as ‘nauseatingly twee’.
“I’m happy that Kacey is happy,” confided Hurrell.
“But I really couldn’t give a fig about whatever tedious, vaguely affected and deeply tragic social engagements they’re involved in.
“Why would I possibly want to know that they’re ‘having fireworks on their own. LOL’ tonight?”
Hurrell pointed to a number of Facebook updates concerning a visit to the zoo; a shopping trip where MacIntyre bought a hat that made her look like Audrey Hepburn; a walk in a nearby country park that ended with a hot chocolate and slice of fudge cake and the time the pair bought vegetables from an outdoor Market and posted 78 images of the resulting preparation of a pan of soup as reasons for his diminishing patience with MacIntyre.
“The ‘I Iove my lovely boyfriend’ tweets were bad enough,” said a clearly exasperated Hurrell.
“But then Kacey bought a kitten and ever since then she’s been banging on about ‘the kitteh’ which she constantly dresses up in stupid fucking bonnets.”
“And is she’s not cooking a special meal for her new boyfriend she’s busy tweeting about how they’re ‘nommin’ it for fuck’s sake.
MacIntyre was not contactable, though a status update indicated she was eating strawberries dipped in chocolate in bed while watching films from the Twilight saga with Royston as The News Grind went to press.
