Local man honoured for pointing out vague inaccuracy in online article

A local man has received the highest honour in the land for flagging up a moot inaccuracy in an online report, writes Hard Jackson.
 
Ian Viscount, 44, will be made a Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire by The Queen for pointing out that an online magazine article incorrectly quoted a character from The Merchant of Venice who remarks ‘all that glisters is not gold’ in reference to the instrinsic values of things beyond material possessions.
 
The magazine, Hartlepool Matters, instead printed the oft-used modernisation ‘all that glitters is not gold’ – incurring the wrath of Viscount, who is unemployed and lives in Peterlee.
 
SHAKESPEARE FAIL! wrote Viscount on the comments section of the website, before providing a link to the relevant WikiQuotes page and calling for the website’s entire editorial section to be sacked immediately.
 
“How dare you people call yrselves journalists!!!!!” wrote Viscount, his fury undampened by a correction and comment from the website’s editor thanking him for pointing out the mistake.
 
The editor, Jonathan Bourbon, briefly weighed up countering with a remark about readbility and modern usage but decided, on balance, that life was simply too fucking short.
 
Viscount has waged a war against online publications for some time, often failing to discern between genuine errors and simple typos, weighing in with broadsides against sub-editors of all stripes to levels beyond all proportion.
 
Stephen Fry, Lynn Truss, Giles Brandreth and Will Self will attend the ceremony that will also see dozens of other keyboard warriors honoured for their outstanding contributions to humanity’s betterment.