Local man Greg MacDonald described his experience of working from local coffee shop Hoopla! today as ‘utterly miserable’, writes Hard Jackson.
Quantity surveyor MacDonald frequently works in a small spare bedroom at home, but says he decided to take a break from the norm today by spending his working hours at his local coffee outlet.
“It seemed like a great idea at the time,” said the jittery MacDonald.
“All those people with MacBooks and skinny lattes looking so productive – I wanted to be one of them.
“I always thought Hoopla! looked really welcoming and cosy – and their coffee is apparently sourced from Brazil.”
MacDonald believed that the mix of fresh coffee and new surroundings would make for a fruitful day’s work, but having spent eight hours in Hoopla! he was unable to point to any significant progress.
“First off the coffee knocked me sideways,” said MacDonald, stroking his hair feverishly.
“I spent the first hour on a journey to trip-out city; but then everything started annoying the hellout of me – the noise from the coffee machine, the constant breeze from the door, the awful music on the local radio station. I mean, how do people get anything done in these places?”
MacDonald also spent 45 minutes trying to connect to Hoopla’s WiFi before returning home for his dongle.
“The worst bit was all the stinking old weirdos and young hippies in there,” continued MacDonald.
“One of them started talking to me at one point, about trees or something. I had to restrain myself from actually being sick.”
MacDonald concluded his description of the ‘worst day of his life’ with a vivid description of his ordeal in trying to pass a stool in the Hoopla! toilets; labelling it ‘Cronenberg-esque’.