Relate marriage guidance councillor Edwin Cruickshanks was last night hailed a hero by community leaders after saving thousands of singletons from the unwanted sexual advances of desperate divorcees.
By rescuing 236 marriages during his 20-year career as a relationship councillor in the North East of England, Cruickshanks, 61, believes he may have saved “at least” 3,000 singletons from the hell of a night with a drunk and depressed divorcee.
“I was only doing my job,” said a modest Cruickshanks last night as he collected his Man of the Year award from the mayor of Whitley Bay at a ceremony attended by hundreds of thankful single men and women in the area.
Mayor Denis Tennyson told a packed crowd at the St Mary’s Church Hall, in the town: “The single people of Whitley Bay owe Edwin a huge debt of gratitude for his selfless devotion to keeping our streets clean of the scourge of the divorced.
“Thanks to him, the number of lecherous divorced blokes whining on about their bitch of an ex-wife to young girls in the town has almost halved in last 20 years.
“And the sight of half-cut middle-aged women, fresh from a marriage break up, trying to get their claws into young men in our clubs has fallen considerably in the last decade.
“Yes there are still an unacceptably high number of gin-soaked 40-somethings carrying more baggage than Gatwick throwing themselves at the innocent singles, but Edwin has more played his part in keep our streets safe.”
Visibly moved, Cruickshanks, himself a former divorcee, accepted his certificate, engraved tankard and cheque for £500 as applause rang out through the local community centre.
“I’ve seen some grim sights through the doors of Relate,” he said. “And my only thought has been to keep them together for the sake of the innocent single people of the town. If I’ve saved just one drunken young man from waking up with a twice-divorced harridan with three kids after picking up what he thought was a smart bird following a nine pint session of Bishop‘s Finger, then it’s all been worthwhile.”