Vuvuzela: Fwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!
A medley of classic love songs played on the vuvuzela has knocked Oasis and Dizzee Rascal off the top of the UK pop charts.
The album, Romantic Vuvuzela: Love Songs to Remember, has gone straight to number one in the official UK charts with almost double the sales and downloads of last week’s chart-topper Time Flies by Oasis.
And the single from the album, a vuvuzela version of the Phil Collins’ classic One More Night, ended Dizzee Rascal and James Corden’s World Cup anthem Shout’s three-week stay at the top of the singles charts.
No one was more surprised at the result than the man behind the album, 68-year-old vuvuzela player Matimba Gnu.
“It’s a lifetime’s dream realised,” Gnu told reporters as the official charts were released. “Simply incredible.”
It marks a remarkable turnaround of fortunes for the South African vuvuzela player whose lifelong obsession with the distinctive instrument has resulted in a number of convictions and restraining orders.
“Not everyone appreciates the sound of the vuvuzela,” admitted Gnu, “I have been asked to leave a number of public and private gatherings on account of my vuvuzela playing.”
Most notable of these vuvuzela incidents was his impromptu rendition of Free Nelson Mandela during a minute’s silence at the funeral of ANC activist Stompie Moeketsi in 1988 which resulted in a ferocious beating and imprisonment.
But the resurgence of the vuvuzela during the World Cup in South Africa has seen some of the biggest names in pop back the Rustenburg pensioner to continue his remarkable success.
Simon Cowell said: “Gnu is a breath of fresh air. Name me one other artist in the last ten years who can sustain a B flat for three minutes without rupturing a spleen? Gnu is a one off. A genius. And I should know, I seen enough of them on Britain’s Got Talent.”
Radiohead’s Thom Yorke added: “This guy is blowing us all away. Haunting doesn’t do his sound justice. It’s a full on Amityville Horror One, Two and Three with an added sprinkling of Ring and a side order of Hallowe’en H20. Scary.”
Gnu’s distinctive sound has not been universally appreciated. Writing for the NME, music critic Stig Smith described Gnu’s 20 great vuvuzela love songs as: “The aural equivalent of Boris Johnston farting through an ear-trumpet the size of a tuba … for about an hour.”
“That said,” he added. “I will concede that it’s a vast improvement on the majority of Phil Collins’ output.”
