The fleece blanket with sleeves worn by millions of lard-arses mindlessly channel-hopping from their stinking sofas is to be honoured as England’s official national costume.
The controversial move, rubber-stamped by the Government’s Cultural Affairs department late last night, is to be given the royal seal of approval later in the year when the Queen dons an ermine Snuggie for her annual Christmas TV address to the nation.
With an estimated 42 million in the UK being given Snuggies for Christmas, the garment is now officially the most popular item of clothing in England.
Culture Minister Ed Vaizey said: “As a nation of sedentary monosyllabic slaves to that flickering noise box in the corner of the room, the Snuggie wholly encapsulates that spirit of national indifference and inertia.
“The Germans have their lederhosen, the Scot’s their kilts, now we have a tatty blue square of cheap fleece blanket … with sleeves. It positively screams Rule bloody Britannia. Don’t you think?”
Other popular modes of English dress to be pipped to this prestigious honour included the ubiquitous Super-Dry coat, the black nylon tracksuit, and the popular black plastic bin-liner taped up with condoms, vibrators and L-plates worn by squawking lasses on their hen nights.