Turd on a turntable to replace axed My Family, say BBC

Smiles better: A steaming dog turd.

A steaming pile of animal excrement rotating slowly on a potter’s wheel is to replace TV sitcom My Family, the BBC revealed today.

The rotating faeces is seen as the ideal like-for-like alternative to the long-running sitcom which is to be pulled from the screens later this year.

“While we accept the move is controversial, test audiences consistently rated the revolving shit-pile higher than re-runs of My Family,” said BBC One controller Danny Cohen.

“We can’t speculate on audience numbers, but test screenings revealed the spinning crap splat received more laughs per minute than Robert Lindsay and his annoying TV family.

“Not only is a bowel evacuation cheaper and funnier, it’s also a hell of a lot better looking than Zoe Wanamaker.”

Rotating Shit will be shown on BBC One in the autumn of next year. The chosen dog turd will be interviewed on Chatty Man with Alan Carr this Saturday. Carr will wear a pink carnation, to avoid confusion.

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