Glastonbury founder Michael Eavis admits he has accidently booked The Wombles to headline the festival, leaving U2 and Beyonce to pick up litter after the event.
The gaffe will see the furry critters blast out hits such as Remember You’re A Womble on Glastonbury’s main stage every night of the three-day festival.
“It’s a contractual cock up we simply can’t undo,” said Eavis.
“They’re getting £1m for the three nights and we can’t afford to pay them off, so U2, Coldplay and Beyonce will be playing to 65 people on the Avalon stage for 12 minutes each, then tidying up after themselves.
“In fairness, it’s not so bad for Coldplay who could probably give you an overview of their entire output in 12 seconds flat.”
In the 1970s the Wombles had nine hit singles and four gold albums. But in fairness to the British record-buying public that was during the disco era and there was a more liberal attitude to drug-taking too.
Band creator Mike Batt is delighted to be performing at the world’s second most famous live music event – after the Ramsbottom festival – though he has hit out at calls for the Wombles to tone down their act.
“We’ve been told categorically that we can’t kill animals. That rips out the heart of our very edgy act which features live wildfowl.
“It’s a disgraceful affront to our creative freedom. The show just won’t be the same without Uncle Bulgaria choking his chicken.”
