Chinese Premier Hu Jintao agreed to a more subtle positioning of his comedy plastic boobs for his opening address.
David Cameron is delivering on his pledge not to treat the G8 summit as “a grand talking shop” by manning his own Eastend-style market stall.
And the Prime Minister’s scheme has already led to an order for 400,000 pairs of comedy plastic boobs from China’s Premier.
Cameron is flogging ‘best of British’ goods such as Kiss Me Quick hats and jellied eels under tarpaulin at the Deerhurst Resort in Huntsville, Ontario.
It is hoped the stall will help to kick-start the British economy by showcasing the country’s manufacturing talent and generating export orders.
“We’ve had great publicity already,” said Business Secretary Vince Cable.
“Chinese leader Hu Jintao saw the fake knockers on the stall and loved them. He won’t take them off and has promised to wear them at every meeting.
“He’s ordered 400,000 pairs for his future son-in-law’s State stag do.
“It’s so great to see our culture as well as our goods being exported to the rest of the world.
Foreign Secretary William Hague, who has agreed to man the shop in Cameron’s absence, said his boss is the right man to sell the UK to the rest of the world.
“David’s got the patter for it.
“He sold a policy of decimating public services and making people work until they drop dead to the British public.
“Flogging a few million sticks of Blackpool rock to the Americans – who, let’s face it, will buy any crap with a royal seal on it – should be a doddle.”
Mr Cameron has delighted his circle of friends by affecting a faux cockney accent in preparation for his role.
And he was happy to show off his new grasp of Eastend lingo in front of assembled reporters when he touched down in Canada for his first international summit.
“It’s Loverly jubberly to be here. One’s well happy to be in Canada, innit?” said Mr Cameron.
“Who wants to buy five ‘undred fousand Spice Girls CDs wot were never sold?” he enquired.
Also for sale on Cameron’s market stall are Toby jugs, horse brasses, car blankets, thermos flasks, motorised scooters and Natalie Cassidy’s Then and Now Workout DVD.
