A gym has banned overweight customers and has vowed to keep them out ‘by any means necessary’.
Bosses at XS Leisure installed special narrow entrances to prevent fat visitors from accessing their fitness centre and trapdoor treadmills to deal with those who manage to bypass security.
The move is in response to complaints from staff and regulars who said they were being put off their exercise routine after witnessing ‘horrific sights’ such as cellulite-pocked rears bouncing on the stepping machine.
Terry Stokoe, a middle-aged XS Leisure member who dresses like a twenty-year-old, said: “We’ve been trying for years to discourage people who need to exercise from coming to the gym.
“Glaring at them as they arrive, leaving machines overladen with weights and even flapping our shaven genitals in their faces in the changing room… nothing seems to get rid of these people.”
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Now XS Leisure has stamped out the problem by enforcing a full ban on anyone who is even slightly fat.
As well as narrowing doorways they have imported four special trapdoor treadmills from the United States which are triggered by women who are size eight or over.
“These customers are not harmed,” explained XS regional manager Dave Stirling. “They are simply whisked into an underground area which exits into the street and told never to return to our facility.
“But we will take any measures necessary to keep out these fat people who are ruining the aesthetics of our gym.”
The ban has angered a group of highly-motivated overweight people who are keen to exercise regularly and modify their diet in order to slim down.
“We’ve tried everything to get into the XS Leisure compound,” said Jane Ferguson a former XS regular who weighs 9stone 5lbs – that’s three pounds over her ideal weight.
“We are getting desperate. Last week we smuggled six people into the building by faking a delivery of body-building supplements. We emptied the containers and hid in each of the tubs. We were then carried straight past security.”
“Once inside a few of us made it to the darkened spinning room where we were able to exercise for twenty minutes.
“It was just like the good old days for me. Especially when a pretty much incoherent orange gentleman desperately tried to chat me up, several times mentioning he owns a sports car despite living with his mum.
“But when the session ended and the lights came on it was pandemonium.
“He spotted that I wasn’t wearing any make up and that my thighs are wider than my knees. He raised the alarm and we were out on our ear within seconds.”
XS Leisure’s head office said in a statement that they are a private company with their own membership rules. They have decided to prevent people who need to exercise from using their gym ‘out of consideration for their customers’.
