Photo by Beth Nazario, Some Rights Reserved
Sky has bough the exclusive right to own and broadcast your children’s most beautiful moments, including birth, laughter and first steps, writes Hard Jackson.
The satellite broadcaster has struck a multi-trillion pound deal to the image rights of children throughout the world. As a result parents will not be able to watch pivotal moments in their offspings’ development unless they pay £47 a month – or £65 if they prefer to watch in HD – until their children reach 18 years of age.
Shortened highlights of some moments, including childbirth, will be available on terrestrial channels the following day, but other events like sitting up straight, bathing and playing will be shown exclusively on Sky.
“This is the best result for parents everywhere,” announced a government minister when asked to comment on the move.
“Without this valuable investment from Sky there was a real danger that parents would not be able to view any of their offspring’s dear, dear moments at all – this cash injection means that a small amount of this coverage will be safeguarded.”
When asked about parents who could not afford the monthly charges to receive Sky, the government spokesman shrugged and walked off.
When asked on the potential ramifications of the deal, Kelvin MacKenzie attacked the BBC.
