Top Gear trio Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May will be replaced by gay stars in a bid to reverse the show’s politically incorrect image, writes Crispin Fisher.
The News Grind understands Stephen Fry will step in for James May, Graham Norton is the new Richard Hammond and Dale Winton will take over from Jeremy Clarkson.
Wheelchair-bound astrophysicist Stephen Hawking will take the wheel as The Stig for the next series of the show.
While there is no suggestion Hawking is gay, he will tick the disabled box. “And he might be bi-,” said BBC commissioning editor Kay Stevenson.
She added: “If we could have found a Jewish gay person in a wheelchair from Mexico they’d have been in.
“Unless they were a woman over 50, obviously.”
Bosses at the Beeb are reportedly delighted with the new line up.
“Who cares that 72-year-old Dale had to give up his licence in 2001, or that Graham only ventures into a car if there’s a chaffeur wearing just a bow tie to drive him?” an insider said.
“It’s going to be great fun. And so, so gay.”
The first episode will feature Stephen Fry pimping a Penny Farthing with props from a West End show.
And there could even be a change of name for the next series.
“We’re not sure ‘Top Gear’ is gay enough,” said Taylor.
“At the minute I’m favouring ‘Doing thirty in fourth’.”
PornStarlifePawnStarSalary
June 29, 2011
Finally something worth watching on the box! though i will miss masturbating to Clarksons smug grin, replacing him with the most intellectual gay on the planet is a stroke of genius! Although i do oppose the idea of Graham Norton, surely Sol Campbell would have ticked the gay and ethnic box!
emerito imbecille
August 1, 2011
cool. but if they want to do a gay top gear, why replacing James May?