The true identity of new Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas was revealed seconds into his reign at Stamford Bridge.
The former Porto manager is really special one Jose Mourinho, who fled Spain to escape the shadow of Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola.
“The new bloke walked into the Bridge and I just said ‘hello Jose’,” said Geoff Armstrong, 63, who has worked as a security guard at Chelsea’s stadium for 22 years.
“Without batting an eyelid he said ‘Hello Geoff’. I checked and I didn’t have my name badge on so I knew it was the gaffer.”
Mourinho is now in custody. He faces deception charges after sporting an unconvincing beard and pretending to be a man fifteen years his junior in a bid to secure a return to his beloved Chelsea.
“He felt special here,” said Alf Davison, a Sky pundit who claims he made a 93-second appearance for The Blues in 1972.
“At Real Madrid he was just another meal being fattened up for the club president’s killer sharks.”
Psychologist Dr Sandra Essen said: “It wasn’t much of a disguise, which begs the question of whether he wanted to be caught.
“Claiming to be a young Portuguese coaching sensation who had guided Porto to glory was an obvious attempt to turn back the clock to a time before Inter, Real and, in all likelihood, Notts County came calling.”
Villas-Boas’ true identity became apparent to the media in his first press conference as Chelsea boss.
Asked who his first signing would be he said: “It is already done.
“I am pleased to announce the new captain for Chelsea will be Ricardo Carvalho.”