"Pour, drink, repeat," urges Cameron
Prime Minister David Cameron used his New Year message to the nation to advise everyone to drink themselves stupid tonight “as it’s going to be another miserable year for the economy.”
Nursing what looked like a large gin and tonic, an at times incoherent Mr Cameron suggested people spend whatever money they have left on a “shedload of beer” and have the biggest “blow out of their lives.”
In the rambling 25 minute speech filmed at his desk at Number 10, the Prime Minister was seen to bang his fist on the table several times, angrily point at the camera, shout, fall over twice and break down in tears.
He said: “Seriously folks, it’s going to be a terrible, terrible year so you might as well get down to the offy and fill your boots. That’s what I’m going to do.”
At one point, the Prime Minster beckoned Nick Clegg to join him, before grabbing the deputy Prime Minister in a headlock in front of the cameras.
“He’s me bezzy mate,” he was heard to shout, “Aren’t you Cleggy? Ey? Aren’t ya me old China?”
During the speech, Cameron blamed the current economic woes on the previous Labour government, worldwide recession, uncertainty in the Eurozone, Manchester United, Katy Perry and the “insufferable” Krankies.
Cameron ended the speech with a rousing chorus of Auld Lang Syne before downing his drink and tipping backwards off his chair.
Labour leader Ed Miliband condemned the broadcast as “crass and irresponsible.”
As The News Grind went to press, a Mori poll showed Cameron’s approval rating had enjoyed an unprecedented rise of 45 per cent among voters.
