Militant supporters of Nick Clegg have been linked with a foiled terrorist attack on prime minister David Cameron.
Military officials have ordered a review of security arrangements after Mr Cameron’s recent trip to Afghanistan almost ended in tragedy.
The prime minister had to change his schedule because of fears radical Cleggites might be planning to blow his helicopter to smithereens in a scene reminiscent of 1980′s chopper series Airwolf.
A Downing Street spokesman was needlessly quoted by the BBC as saying: “We never comment on the prime minister’s security arrangements.”
Mr Cameron was due to visit British troops serving in Helmand province in southern Afghanistan in June.
But unlike the men and women who risk their lives daily, the prime minister didn’t have the nuts to go anywhere near the line of fire.
Security officials monitoring the phone of Lib Dem cabinet members reported ‘chatter’ that suggested Cleggites would murder Cameron, clearing the way for their leader to take power.
As a result Mr Cameron’s pilot was instructed to change direction.
In his revised itinerary the prime minister visited the Kabul branch of the Women’s Institute and judged their annual crocheted competition.
The winner was Azizi Meena, a 58-year-old grandmother who depicted Britney Spears in her famous silver outfit on a cushion.