Police were today investigating the mystery disappearance of 25 million traffic cones from major cities throughout the UK last night.
Detectives fear the thefts could be part of an Al-Qaeda terrorist plot to disrupt the nation’s transport structure.
“It’s absolutely baffling,” said head of the Metropolitan Police Bernard Hogan-Howe. “We’ve lost at least three million overnight in London alone.
“We are not ruling out the possibility that this was a highly-organised terrorist plot to cause chaos on our roads.
“The cunning gang may have used the New Year’s Eve celebrations as the perfect cover for the theft.
“Interviews with those who were in the vicinity of the traffic cone thefts have so far drawn a blank. The revellers can barely remember their own names let alone what happened to the cones.”
Police are working on the theory that the cones may have been taken out of the of the country by helicopter and speedboat during the early hours of this morning.
“That,” said a police spokesman, “would explain why we found so many traffic cones on the heads of statues in city centres and a few floating in local rivers.”