Arabic TV station Al Jazeera wants to buy BSkyB after Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp dropped plans to take full ownership of the satellite broadcaster, writes Crispin Fisher.
The owners of the Qatar based TV company put their bid together last night and have demanded significant production changes to the UK broadcaster.
An Al Jazeera spokesman said: “We have carried out a lot of research into what viewers like and dislike about the news channel and we know what changes need to be made.”
First in the firing line is news anchor Kay Burley.
Research revealed viewers were unhappy with her miserable horse-like face and superior attitude, so Al Jazeera bosses will insist the ageing newsreader wears a full length Burka at all times.
Viewers have also criticised smug political editor Adam Bolton, who will face a pay cut of 50 per cent under the new regime as well as a six month posting to Afghanistan.
Some changes could also be made in the Sky News canteen with bacon and sausage being taken off of the menu.
The new owners have said this is not being done for religious reason but because they want lard-arsed breakfast presenter Eamonn Holmes to lose weight.
After reflecting on the Al Jazeera bid, Murdoch is now seriously considering the offer for his shares especially if they agree to his demands that Rebekah Brooks is offered an appropriate job in the company.
Al Jazeera’s managing director Wadah Khanfar said: “We have just the right job for Rebecca Brooks, with all her experience of scraping the barrel she will make a fantastic toilet cleaner.”