Wotcha Cock! Angry Birds is most popular
The electronic mobile phone game Angry Birds has beaten masturbation to become one of the UK’s most popular pastimes, a new survey has revealed.
The biannual study of Great British Hobbies and Interests released today reveals more than three million Brits play the popular video game every day, compared to 2.3million who bash the bishop on a daily basis.
Dr Ian Baker, co-author of the report by the Institute of UK Pastime Research, said: “This shift in social behaviour could have far reaching effects in our communities.
“We are already receiving reports from health trusts of repetitive strain injuries moving from wrist damage to more thumb-based sprains.
“The ocular health issues remain stable. Both activities cause eye-strain.”
The results, however, have been welcomed by Angry Bird’s creators, Swedish game developer Rovio, which is looking at ways to combine the two popular pastimes.
“The beauty of Angry Birds is that it can be played with only one hand on the Apple iPhone,” said researcher Sven Gilderbrech.
“We are trialling a pilot adult version of Angry Birds in which aroused penises are fired into the faces of furious topless supermodels. You can play the game with one hand, while using your free arm to, how you say, choke the chicken.
“To keep the feathered friends analogy going, you could say we are killing two birds with one stone. Oh wait, here’s another one, don’t you call the male member a cock? That’s a bird too, isn’t it? We could call it Angry Cock Fighter.”
The study found that Angling was still the UK’s most popular pastime with four million people regularly seen gripping their stiff rods in public.
