A bright squiggly photo suggesting something sciencey is happening
Cern scientists hunting the elusive God Particle have found Lord Lucan instead, it was revealed today.
“He was behind one of the generators,” Cern’s director-general Rolf-Dieter Heuer told a packed press conference this afternoon before introducing the seventh Earl of Lucan, who had been missing since 1974.
The science community had hoped evidence of the existence of the Higgs boson would be revealed at the conference and so provide the missing link to current theories of physics.
But their disappointment was tempered by the discovery of the English aristocrat wanted for the murder of his children’s nanny in Belgravia.
“It’s not quite what we were expecting,” said Professor Stefan Soldner-Rembold, from the University of Manchester, “but it will be a whole lot easier for the public to understand.
“Telling people that a Higgs signal at 125 GeV, between the 2.5 and 3.5 sigma level of certainty, has been found means little to nothing to them.
“But that Cern scientists have Lord Lucan, well, that’s an easy to explain story, isn’t it?”
As the News Grind went to press, a nervous Mr Heuer told the gathered media that the story “may not be so simple” before leading a horse onto the stage and announcing: “Ladies and gentlemen, meet Shergar.”
>> Photo by Ars Electronica, some rights reserved
