This image said to show Pippa Middleton’s rear is now thought to be a fake. Photo by .Martin. some rights reserved
David Cameron is refusing to publish photographs of Pippa Middleton’s body for fear they could cause ‘untold chaos’.
Calls are mounting for the images to be released amid claims the royal bridesmaid’s shapely rear was faked.
Conspiracy theories abound that Pippa, sister of Prince William’s new bride Kate Middleton, has a sagging, spotty backside.
There is speculation she underwent surgical enhancement before her glittering appearance at the royal wedding, while other sweaty 50-year-old adolescents suggest special effects whizzes added curves to her posterior.
The Government has declined to put out naked images they say prove beyond doubt that Pippa Middleton has a seat worthy of gracing any throne.
Prime Minister David Cameron says he has seen the pictures, and in his opinion their release could cause chaos across the UK.
But journalists and members of the public flooding phone-in shows are demanding to see photographic proof Pippa Middleton has a backside you could eat your dinner off.
“It’s our democratic right to see her arse,” said Clive from Rochdale via text message.
“It’s not for me, you understand. It’s just some people out there say it’s fake so it’s important we all get a flash,” he added.
The Government is carefully managing the release of images in the wake of the royal wedding.
A photograph of David Cameron watching a live feed of the event has been shown. The aghast Prime Minister and flustered onlookers are seen in the Westminster Abbey cheap seats watching in awe as Pippa Middleton’s backside glides up the aisle.
“The naked shots are just too graphic,” warned Mr Cameron.
“Their release would almost certainly break the internet as every man in the country would be googling them.
“Untold chaos could be unleashed as the male half of Britain downs tools, so to speak.”
Copies of the photographs have been sent to Buckingham Palace as a courtesy following a request from Prince Philip.
