Researchers compiling a breastfeeding study involving 10,000 mothers and their babies are haunted by images of big bouncing breasts, a report has revealed.
More than half of Oxford University researchers who this week revealed that breastfed children develop fewer behaviour problems in later life, reported suffering nightmares in which they are attacked and smothered by giant breasts.
A total of 27 per cent of the researchers probed in the new study reported mistaking everyday round objects for breasts; 37 per cent felt nauseous around large-breasted women; while one-in-five unconsciously interspersed their conversation with inappropriate breast-related words and references.
Dr James Neagle of Oxford University, who led the research for the Millennium Cohort Study, expressed concern at the findings during a brief press conference today.
“Tits a worry for all of us,” he told reporters. “The nightmares have been shown to have significant effects on the short and long-term mammary.”
An increasingly agitated Dr Neagle was unable to continue reading his statement, cutting short the conference due to concerns over the number of microphones.
“Get those boobs on sticks out of my face,” he shouted before rushing from the room and vomiting down the front of a female colleague.