X Factor mogul Simon Cowell has secured the TV rights to air court cases in the UK and will launch with the show Britain’s Got Feral Underclass early next year.
Geordie duo Ant and Dec are to front the prime time screening of UK court cases after the government pushed through plans to allow limited TV transmissions from courts in England and Wales.
Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke welcomed the move saying televising judges’ comments would help demystify the legal process while the increased competition would push EastEnders scriptwriters to come up with better storylines if they are to stay top of the ratings.
“It’s a win win situation,” said Mr Clarke. “The public get to see which dangerous criminals we are setting free to roam our streets while providing TV viewing of the quality of other modern broadcasting greats like Big Brother and Deal or No Deal.”
Fears that turning the legal system into a light entertainment circus for the masses may result grave miscarriages of justice were dismissed today by former US sports and movie star O J Simpson.
“If it wasn’t for televised court cases I wouldn’t be here,” said Mr Simpson, giggling manically and staring wild-eyed at our reporter. “Have they caught the killer yet?” he added, before screaming like a banshee then breaking down in tears.