Urine-soaked old people have roundly condemned the actions of young people, claiming the current generation ‘don’t know they’re born’.
They say easier ‘O-levels’, Facebook and hoodies have turned young people into useless yobs.
Lazy, porn-guzzling young people have hit back at the claims, arguing that old people don’t know what they are talking about and urging them to ‘get a life’.
“Unspecified standards are slipping across the board, I read in the Daily Mail” said a spokesperson for the older generation of racist mysogynists.
“When I was their age I had to work for everything I got. There were no PlayStations or Xboxes in those day,” he added.
The spokesperson then explained that things had been getting worse for some time. Older peoples’ parents had it harder than them. And the generation before that had it even harder still.
At current rates of decline humanity will expire within five generations as young people’s under-used limbs become atrophied and reproduction is rendered impossible.
And the end of the human race will be accelerated if Peter Andre is allowed to continue mating, old people fear.