CSI Perugia cancelled by network

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Amanda Knox’s acquittal over the murder of British student Meredith Kercher has forced CBS network chiefs to shelve plans for the first CSI spin-off set outside the United States.

CSI Perugia was canned after Italian detectives were seen picking their nose before collecting evidence with their bare hands in the Kercher case.

“We can’t go ahead with the planned Italian CSI on the grounds that their forensic teams are fucking idiots,” said a spokesman for CBS

“Even by American standards these people are dumb, and that won’t play well in a show which is supposed to be about cutting edge investigate techniques.”

Show producers had already taken measures to reflect technical and cultural differences between the Italian and US justice systems.

Scripts reveal that several episodes feature the presumption that a sexy young woman is probably guilty, especially if there is a handsome man involved.

And all CSI Perugia detectives were due to be armed with the latest Italian crime-fighting tools – a whistle, magnifying glass and a map of public pay phones in case they need to contact head office in a hurry.