Welcome to our brand new column, which will run daily throughout the football transfer window – today it’s QPR, Liverpool, Aston Villa and Birmingham City making the headlines. 
Make this your first stop for shit-stirring rumours direct from the imagination of bored hacks. Well, after you’ve checked the usual sites…
Mark Hughes, who is set to take over from Neil Warnock at QPR, will target Ruth Madoc – who played Gladys Pugh in TV’s ‘Hi-de-Hi’ – as his first signing. The 68-year-old actress will join the club’s backroom staff as a motivational specialist, calling players to training with the catchphrase which made her famous – “good morning campers”.
Liverpool are looking to add two new faces to their squad, even if those faces are black.
Finally, Aston Villa have offered Fabian Delph plus £500,000 in exchange for 4,000 Birmingham City fans to help fill out Villa Park on match days.
Heard a transfer rumour? Email the Daily Stir and tell us about it.
