Leeds United have made a crucial step towards regaining their status as England’s most hated football club with the appointment of Neil Warnock.
The Yorkshiremen rejected a string of candidates – including hotly tipped Sith Lord Darth Vader – before selecting the former Sheffield United boss.
Leeds are now closing in on Liverpool in their bid to regain their crown as football’s most hated team. The Merseysiders currently top most fans’ list of ‘clubs you’d most like to ‘do a Rangers”.
Warnock is almost universally disliked in football, making him an ideal choice for the Leeds board.
United already have a suitable figurehead at the club, with Ken Bates in place as Emperor. He cemented his credentials by sacking well-regarded manager Simon Grayson in February, a move which left a gap for a suitably evil boss to take the reins.
“We had considered a few top managers for the role,” said Bates.
“Lord Vader interviewed well. His interpretation of ‘Marching On Together’ featuring 20,000 stormtroopers and a planet-destroying spacestation was impressive, but didn’t quite fit with our ambition of promotion to the Premier League.”
Bates confirmed that Satan was also considered for the role. The Devil had a strong CV, but there were concerns he would struggle with the rainy northern climate.
“In the end we went for Neil, who was terrifying. I mean this bloke is seriously evil. Much nastier than Vader and Satan put together.”
Warnock has been handed a lucrative contract which expires the millisecond he secures Leeds’ return to the topflight.
