“What Anton Ferdinand doesn’t realise is that ‘black c*nt’ means ‘wonderful, beloved brethren’ in my home town and that this has all been a terrible misunderstanding,” said Terry.
“Not that I said that to him,” he added.
“But if I had said it, it wouldn’t have meant what everyone else think it means.
“Take a look at all the Christmas cards I’ve sent to my friends,” added Terry.
“Every single one of them starts with the words ‘Dear Black C*nt’ and they’re all signed “Yours, A Black C*nt”.
“By the way, I didn’t call Anton Ferdinand a black c*nt. Just to be clear about that.
Terry brought an end to the press conference with a cheery “bye-bye you black c*nts”.
Liverpool Football Club have announced their intention to unveil a 200-foot statue of Terry – a hero to all who uphold the tradition of greeting pals as black c*nts – at Anfield.