Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has found himself in hot water after a trip to see some strippers – but these girls were offering hot wax, rather than hot sex…
The real reason for Wayne Rooney’s Manchester United and England lay off has been revealed – the troubled striker is having hair transplanted onto his balding chest, writes Crispin Fisher.
The complicated three-stage operation is being performed by a top Follical Surgeon in America and it is hoped the treatment will help Rooney to recapture his form.
The scheme was dreamt up by the striker’s wife Coleen after it emerged Rooney had visited a beautician where wax strippers had made a mess of his patchy moobs.
When Wayne watched videos of last season’s matches he noticed his form started to dip dramatically after the botched hair remobal.
The United striker told a team-mate: “Aam just like dat Samson bloke in dee bible who lost all his strength when his wife gave him a short back and sides.”
Rooney has been desperately trying to grow back his chest hair but despite trying rubbing Marmite, peanut butter and even bulls’ semen on his chest he has so far only managed to grow a tiny amount of bum fluff.
As a last resort he has headed off to Colorado to get help from renowned hair transplant specialist Doctor Maddy Khan. Dr Khan has been adding small patches of hair each day to try and give the illusion that it is growing naturally.
The surgery should have only taken a week but Rooney has proved to have a low tolerance for pain so the rate of progress has been painstakingly slow. These delays have meant that his comeback has been put on ice for another five weeks to allow for the new hair to grow and for him to regain his confidence.
Sports psychologist Dave Spice, who helped to revive the career of cricketer Graham Gooch when he encouraged him to have a hair transplant, believes Rooney has made the right decision in having the transplant.
He said: “Top sportsmen often go through bald patches, sorry – bad patches, and sometimes drastic action is needed to get them firing on all cylinders again.”
Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams another client of Spice said: “My darts career was completely turned after I had my trademark beard surgically enhanced.
“Mind you, they took it all off my balls so my sack looks like pair of Mitchell brothers in a clinch,” he warned.