Manchester United midfielder Darren Fletcher is to take a break from football by playing in Stoke City’s midfield.
United boss Alex Ferguson agreed to a loan move to the Potters to “give the lad a rest from the rigours of passing, thinking and playmaking.”
“Stoke’s take on the game we know as football is ideal for Darren’s recouperation plans as it completely misses out the midfielder,” said a concerned Ferguson. “They just hoof it from box to box.”
Fletcher is expected to spend the next few months running about the centre spot shouting “heads” as he recovers from a serious stomach illness.
As the News Grind went to press, the Scotland midfielder was being fitted with a neck brace to prevent injury while watching the ball sail over his head for 90 minutes every Saturday.