Mel Gibson and kilts can save Scottish football, say SFA chiefs
After a disastrous few weeks for Scottish football, the SFA are to recruit Hollywood film star Mel Gibson to restore pride to the game, writes Crispin Fisher. The Scottish FA believe he has…
Dyslexic X Factor hopeful jailed for trying to form trio on Facebook
A singer who sought fame, fortune and anonymity by January on the X Factor has been jailed for four years for comments he posted on Facebook, writes Crispin Fisher. Mark Graham posted an…
May wants police chief with macho name
Home Secretary Theresa May has laid out the criteria for appointing a new Met Police Commission – and anyone called Tim or Hugh won’t stand a chance, writes Crispin Fisher Clint Fleischer. May…
Cheryl Cole signs on the dole
Jobseekers in West London nearly dropped their smartphones when they spotted pop star and former X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole waiting to sign on the dole, writes Crispin Fisher. Steve Cooper, who was sat…
Fat convicts set free to cut prison overcrowding
Justice Minister Ken Clarke sparked fresh controversy last night by insisting obese convicts are released early to create more space in prisons, writes Crispin Fisher. The Justice Secretary has been forced into the…
Sat nav helps local man find long-lost brother
Local man Fred Frost had the shock of his life when he typed the name of his long-lost brother into his sat nav and the device gave him exact directions to where his…
Cameron to appoint Minister for Bandwagons
Prime Minister David Cameron will breathe new life into his jaded government by appointing a Minister for Bandwagons, writes Crispin Fisher. In recent weeks senior Conservatives have criticised the PM for not having…
Wayne Rooney has meerkat glued to his head
Wayne Rooney has had a dead meerkat glued onto the top of his head as part of a new multi-million pound sponsorship deal, writes Crispin Fisher. The Manchester United ace, ditched by Coca-Cola…
Blackpool fan shocked to discover his wife left him nearly a year ago
After the heartbreak of Blackpool’s relegation, Tangerines fan George Marples suffered another blow when he discovered his wife left him last August, writes Crispin Fisher. George said: “I was gutted by the result…
Blackpool beg Chris Huhne to give them some of his points
The chairman of Blackpool town football club has written to Energy Secretary Chris Huhne asking him if the club can have his three points to help them stave off relegation, writes Crispin Fisher….
