Nick Clegg listening to Who You Are on repeat
Concern is growing for the wellbeing of Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, following several days of behaviour described by colleagues as ‘worrying’, writes Hard Jackson. Clegg has not been seen for some days…
Next Lib Dem conference to be held in Nick Clegg’s kitchen
The Liberal Democrats will convene around Nick Clegg’s kitchen table next year and accommodate all 7 remaining voters using emergency chairs stored under the deputy Prime Minister’s stairs. The Party is on course…
Al-Qaeda using AV to elect bin Laden successor
Extremists have opted to use the Alternative Voting system when appointing the next leader of their international terror network, it was revealed today. The move has been criticised by previous favourites to replace…
Cameron to bum Clegg
In a further expression of the closeness between the two coalition party leaders, David Cameron will ceremonially bum Nick Clegg in a £500-per-ticket spectacular at the Mansion House this Summer, writes Hard Jackson….
George Osborne lays eggs in Nick Clegg
Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has completed his reproductive cycle by laying a number of eggs under the skin of Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, writes Hard Jackson. Osborne is one a…
Chancellor unveils austerity weather
In a sweeping raft of emergency measures that will affect every aspect of British life, Chancellor George Osborne has unveiled drastic cuts to weather over the life of the current parliament, writes Hard…
Clegg mourns death of coalition dad
Deputy PM Nick Clegg was in mourning today after the death of his coalition dad, writes Johnny UPPERCASE. Ian Cameron died on Wednesday after suffering a stroke in France. Prime Minister son David…
Furious Lib Dems: ‘Why has no-one hacked our phones?’
Leading Liberal Democrats are livid that there is no suggestion at all that their phones were hacked by News Of The World journalists. A new list of alleged victims of voicemail monitoring has…
Extremist Lib Dems planned rocket attack on Cameron’s helicopter
Militant supporters of Nick Clegg have been linked with a foiled terrorist attack on prime minister David Cameron. Military officials have ordered a review of security arrangements after Mr Cameron’s recent trip to…
Middle class tax breaks on hummus and children called Felix
Middle class families are set to get new tax breaks in a bid to prevent any potential rebellion over the loss of child benefit. Under secret proposals seen by The News Grind, families…
